Here is a quick overview of my life, and what made me this way
Things from my point of view
I was born in 1980 to two amazing humans. My mom and dad are still some of the few people on this earth I truly look up to. I can say in all honesty that all the stupid shit I got myself into was despite my parents and not because of them.
Me doing what I do
Outdoors has always been my happy place.
As a young kid, I was what my mom would explain as a “sweet kid”. I do remember being happy, and always having fun. I have a younger sister that I really liked, and still do! She was a huge huge part of me escaping the hell I later created. We fought some, and still do honestly, but just sibling bickering.
Sometime around 5th or 6th grade, I started to get into fights at school. I was very big for my age, it was about the time I stopped growing. I think a lot of the kids wanted to fight the big chubby kid. This got me a reputation as a fighter. Then in middle school and on people wanted to fight me because I was known as someone who fights a lot. There isn’t a lot to do in small towns. I never minded. To me, fighting was fun. If MMA was a thing back then, I would have gave it a shot. It did however get me in a lot of trouble. Unfortunately trouble became my new hobby.
By the time high school came around, I was a mess. Smoking, chewing, drinking, pretty much whatever I could get into. My parents both tried. Well all three, mom and dad had divorced and I also had a stepdad really that tried to help. The divorce was nothing real traumatic and my parents have still to this day remained friends, so I cant try to blame my trouble on that. I was just seeking chaos. By 17 I had dropped out, but got a GED and been in and out of jail.
Then I found my new outlet for excitement. Well two really. First I made out with one of my sisters friends and realized how great that was. I think maybe that girl has some kind of fairy tale magic because I did pretty well for a few years after that. I got pretty into working hard, and found my identity in that for a while. Got married (not to the fairy tale girl, she was way out of my league), had a couple amazing daughters. Got divorced, had a son with all was great. Except I had somewhere along the way became a serious alcoholic. Partying to chase my need for adventure. The simple 9-5 marked with children wasn’t fulfilling my needs. I needed chaos, and knew how to find it.
With help from big Pharma and the scummy doctors they were paying I was able to become an opiate addict as well as alcoholic. This combination was almost fatal, and I lost everything. My sister and parents again tried to help, but there was nothing to do. I was on a mission to fuck off my life. The pills made me numb and depressed, the drinking made me fearless. There was two possible outcomes, dead or prison. Luckily the FBI found me first.
Very quickly into jail I was able to detox and decided I was not that guy. I call this my escape from prison. I used every second of the time I was serving to change and become the man I knew possible. I got health, I got happy, I got free. Also while there one of the greatest things in my life happened. Remember that fairy tale girl? My sister reintroduced us. She is now my wife and I get to make out with her all the time to make sure and keep her magic!
After prison I stuck to what I learned. I found adventure in life, not addiction. I build businesses, learned new trades. I took up hobbies from when I was a kid. Now I hunt, fish, farm and ride horses. These things give me all the disappointment and chaos I could ever want.
Well that is about the shortest version I can possibly tell. I will write blogs about all these things, in the hope it will help someone else make the change to live a free life.